Action begets motivation, rather than the other way around.

Wait. Really?! 🤔

This statement hit me like a ton of bricks, when I first heard it a few years ago from an instructor at my ADHD coach training program. For the vast majority of my life, I had lived with untreated, undiagnosed ADHD; I wholeheartedly believed that I HAD to feel motivated in order to do something well. Not only that, but I believed that I would almost certainly royally fuck up if I tried to do something when I didn’t “feel like it.” This belief meant that I didn’t do many of the things that I wanted to do with my life. It led to giving up on pursuing many of my goals and dreams that might otherwise have been feasible.

In retrospect, the entire trajectory of my life had shaped by this utterly perfect shitstorm of belief and biology. After my ADHD diagnosis at the age of 32, I learned about the neurobiology of ADHD and that I had chronically low access to dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with motivation. Gradually I came to accept that letting go of the belief I held that feeling motivated was necessary for success was key, particularly if I was ever going to make progress toward the life I wanted to live and the person I wished to be.

Over time, I found a process that has taken me SO much further than my ever-elusive sense of motivation ever did:

1) I got clear on my core values, which was a process in itself (and let me tell you, I was shocked to learn that I hadn’t actually known what my own core values were before that point!),

2) I developed an understanding of how my needs in life are an expression of my values,

3) I consciously developed and implemented certain boundaries with others and myself that would help ensure that my needs were actually met, and
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4) I found ways to connect my core values to how I spend my time and effort on a daily basis.

Interestingly, since I let go of the “need” to feel motivated to successfully pursue an enjoyable and fulfilling life, I have begun to feel motivated a LOT more often.